"No More Mr. Nice Gay" T-Shirt from StopTheMormons shop.

I’m sure many of you have seen the title of this post on signs at protests. I keep reflecting back on it as I read editorials and comments from people who say we should calm down, be nice and try to change hearts in the court of public opinion.  The Mercury-News says, “The gay marriage movement is at a crossroads. It can become more combative, or it can build on the support of the near-majority who came close to defeating Proposition 8. Building support clearly is the better path.”

I disagree with this logic.  We’ve been waiting patiently for a long time now for people to recognize the rights that we are entitled to.   Another sign from protests comes to mind, “did we vote on your marriage?”  Of course we didn’t, so why should they vote on ours?  Why do we need to ask humbly of fellow citizens, people no better than us, to bestow their grace on us?  I’m finding it rather humiliating to have to ask.  I shouldn’t have to care what these people think about my life.  Isn’t that the whole point here?

It’s time that we demand equality, not just ask for it.  Some say that we have to be practical here, and that it might not come unless we humble ourselves and try to win people over one by one.  I disagree.  It will come. I would rather hold my head high, with pride, and demand my rights.  And if it comes because it is our right, rather than by anything less than a landslide vote of the people, I think victory will taste much sweeter.

Of course, I’m not condoning violence or vandalism.  But otherwise changing our stance to a demand rather than a campaign, so far, I think has worked very well.  We’ve seen widespread outpourings of support and outrage, including Keith Olbermann’s commentary on MSNBC.  We are energized as a community, and we have energized a lot of straight allies. As I marched through the streets, it seemed that we had gained some serious “street cred” from the cheering people on the sidelines, the excited children and parents in SUV’s, and so many others. These are the people that are now standing up with us to tell the oppressors in the majority that discrimination is NOT OK. That the new majority will not stand for it anymore.

The other day, a columnist from the LA Times called Sonja Eddings Brown, the face of our opposition. “Did we win?” she asked. “It doesn’t feel like it.”

That’s what I like to hear.

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